Democracy in Action

Right. So first off I do apologize. This wasn’t supposed to be a political blog. I especially apologize to the British readers as I am sure that my understanding of this electoral system and british politics are rudimentary at best. However, I crave your indulgence for one more general election themed post and then I swear, I’ll tell ya’ll about other things! I promise!

As you may have noticed there is a new Government installed at Number 10 Downing Street. The Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats have formed a coalition. Strange times, strange times. Not quite sure how the Brits are taking it… on one hand, there is a government and we don’t have to go through this crap again…
On the other hand, Tories and Lib-Dems didn’t vote for their respective parties for them to form a coalition with each other; many folks strategically voted Lib-Dem to keep the Conservatives out. I think that people from both parties feel that Cameron and Clegg sold them out…I have to say that I don’t. I think that this was always going to happen. It would have been nice to think of a Lib-Lab coalition but the numbers just weren’t there for a stable government. This current coalition is tenuous enough as it is, I struggle to imagine the Lib-Lab coalition working. Also, Clegg was able to successfully and strategically play Labour and the Tories off each other to get some of his key issues across. Yes David Cameron is the PM, yes there are lots of Tories in the parliament, but lets look at the positive: Clegg is deputy Prime minister, there will be a referendum on voting reform, and the conservatives have given the Liberals a small chance to do some progressive stuff. I mean I’m not saying that this is awesome, but I think it’s the best that can be done considering the circumstances. In the meantime Labour gets to regroup and we’ll see what happens next time.

Rather than focus on doom and gloom and predictions of failure, let’s consider the positives (in no particular order):

1)The fixed term parliament. This means you only have to go through the agony of a general election every 5 years. It forces the country to deal with issues; It gives the chance for reform, progress, and change. Kinda.
2)Gordon Brown is classy. He stepped down as PM and his party’s leader with no fuss and without the silly pomp that others like Thatcher and Blair had. He just said “Thanks, it’s been real, I’ll do my best to continue to serve, bless us every one, c’mon kids, lets go tell the queen she should let a new government form..” Classy. I don’t agree with some of the stuff he’s done but he pleases me.
3)Alistair Darling now has the best title to match his awesome eyebrows. For you American folks who don’t know who he is, he was the Chancellor of the Exchequer under Brown. He also has the best Eyebrows in politics or possibly the world. They are bushy, they are massive, and they demand respect. I’m not kidding. Google him if you don’t believe. Now he will be known as the “Shadow Chancellor”. With that title and those eyebrows he could take over the world….
4)Lembit Opik will be EVERYWHERE. Again, for the Americans, Lembit Opik was a Lib-Dem MP/Attention whore. He is awkward, British, an MP, and dates underwear models and pop stars. (Seriously…he dated a Cheeky Girl…possibly both Cheeky Girls…[Romanian one hit wonders that hit the charts with their incredibly socially aware song entitled ‘touch my bum’. This opus’ chorus involves the line ‘touch my bum, this is life’. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Anyway, he dated them…]) He was just ousted from his seat which means now he has the time to really be an attention hound. This would be annoying except that he is actually quite witty and funny and is taking it all in good stride. There have been lots of self depreciating jokes about busking for money (he plays the harmonica…). I feel he’ll be on a lot of comedy quiz shows and I am just ok with that…
5)British Comedy will enter a bumper year with more fodder than we could have reasonably imagined. I feel most comedians will be on fine form and if it all goes to hell in a handbasket at least the country will go laughing…
6)I see great opportunity for Boris Johnson to continue being ridiculous. Boris is Cameron’s buddy from the Cambridge days. He is a proper toff, the mayor of London, and is generally ridiculous. Unlike Cameron he has fun with the fact that he is posh. My favourite Johnson story is when he chased off would be muggers from a member of his constituency whilst biking through the city. As the muggers were running away he shook his fist and shouted “OIKS!!!”. I have high hopes that this coalition will lead to Johnson and Cameron reaching new heights of ridiculous poshness. Yes.
7)The possibility (in my head) of a Johnson/Opik comedy roadshow. Ok. I admit it. This is not a real possibility but I think that Johnson and Opik could make a bomb being the comedic tory/lib-dem coalition. Think of the glory. I want them both on every quiz show panel EVER.
8)Paramentary reform could happen which means that we get to see some MP’s and Lords get knocked down a few notches. This may in fact provide some awesome comedy. Again, for the Americans, there was a massive expenses scandal last summer…lots of MPs we’re claiming taxpayer’s money for some ridiculous stuff. My favorites include a moat for a castle, a duck pond, adult films (for her husband in fairness…), second homes, etc. When a few of these dudes were prosecuted they had the nerve to claim Legal Aide (usually provided for citizens of low income who cannot afford legal fees…). The fact is the Parliament needs shaking up and if this coalition actually does it then awesome. Better that then someone going all Guy Fawkes on them…this was one of the issues that the British people got the most riled up about (and rightly so…) I think if the reform forces MP’s to remember who put them in at Westminster and to not be silly with their funds it can only lead to a stronger Britain. Not to mention the hilarity that will ensue when you tell a member of the house of Lords that he actually has to live in the country he governs most of the time…they aren’t gonna like that…
9)Pretty Dresses. Samantha Cameron and Miriam (insert her awesomely Spanish last name that I can’t remember here…Clegg’s wife…) are beautiful women with a sweet fashion sense. This isn’t political at all, I just like looking at pretty dresses…I feel these two women will BRING IT at international events. There may have to be a zoolander style walk off between the UK, France, and the US political spouses….my money’s on Miriam…
10)Michael Caine? Maybe? He came out for the Tories early on in the election, perhaps he’ll be around later? Doubtful but more Michael can only be a good thing…
11)The Labour leadership election. Oh yes. The party gets to elect a new leader. One of the options is named Ed Balls. This could possibly mean that at some point down the line there could be a PM Balls. And a nation of schoolboys and those who like schoolboy humour chuckled.
12)It’s still England. It will still rain in the summer. Pimm’s is still delicious. The Geordie dialect will continue to be indecipherable. Simon Cowell will continue to be an idiot. The private lives of Jordan, Kerry Katona, and Cheryl Cole will continue to be splashed across tabloids. At the end of the day, this government could work, it could fail, it could be mediocre. Life marches on and we’ve got to march with it… This is a country that has survived constitutional crisis’s, monarchy’s toppled, George the Third, the Blitz, Civil War, Invading Armies, Benny Hill, and the ENTIRE “Carry On” series of movies. On the scale of things a coalition isn’t that bad. Britian will continue. And everyone will hate it and vote in Labour the next time. And then everyone will hate them and vote in either the Tories or Lib-Dems, and so it goes… Democracy in action…

So that’s my two cents on the whole thing; I’m just glad it’s over. Now I can move on to other topics though I am sure that the Government will give me ample fodder for a while. As always I’ll keep ya’ll updated!